Where does the anger that these kids express really come from as they are in the process of alienation? What creates such hatred and disrespect?
The alienation dynamic is a shared delusional disorder in which the authentic child is no longer present.
Consider a ventriloquist and a puppet. The puppet is not a real person. The puppet is merely an inanimate piece of wood carved to look like a person. The ventriloquist simply makes the puppet move while the ventriloquist actually speaks, and the ventriloquist cleverly masks his or her speaking from public perception so that it appears to everyone around as if the puppet were actually alive and speaking.
So complete is the ventriloquist’s creation of the illusion that the puppet is talking, that people on stage and in the audience will actually look at the puppet when the puppet appears to be talking, and bystanders will talk to the puppet as if the puppet was actually real. But there is only the ventriloquist, throwing his or her voice and making the puppet appear to speak and interact.
In the alienation process, the authentic child is not present. The targeted-Delta parent is simply interacting with the alienating-Beta parent (the ventriloquist) through the child’s words and actions (the puppet). The anger and hatred do not belong to the child anymore than the words of the ventriloquist belong to the puppet.
So where is the authentic child? Lost and buried, needing to be re-discovered.
The authentic child is not angry and does not hate the targeted-Delta parent, and in fact the authentic child actually loves the targeted-Delta parent very much. It’s just that the authentic child is not present. Who is present in the body of the child is the ventriloquist, the alienating-Beta parent. The anger, hatred, and disrespect is coming from the alienating-Beta parent THROUGH the ventriloquist’s puppet; the child. The targeted-Delta parent isn’t talking to the child, even when the child’s body is present; the targeted-Delta parent is actually talking to the alienating-Beta parent’s psychopathology.